As expected, this week has been a whirlwind of appointments, tests, and scheduling more appointments and tests. On Tuesday, I had my surgical consultation for the port insertion. On Wednesday, I had an MRI and CT scan, on Thursday I had my first appointment with the oncologist, and this morning I had my anesthesiologist consultation for the port insertion. Next Monday I actually don't have any appointments (yet)! Next Tuesday I have an EKG scheduled bright and early and then I have the surgery to have the port inserted, and on Wednesday I start chemo.
So let me just start with the MRI and CT scan on Wednesday afternoon, which was quite an experience. First of all, on my way from work to the hospital, I had to drink two big bottles of barium contrast "berry smoothie." To imagine what this tastes like, first think about what an actual berry smoothie tastes like. Now imagine someone has replaced about half of the berries with Elmer's glue, and you have to drink about a quart of it. So by the time my MRI started, I was a bit queasy, but I didn't throw up so I consider that a win.
The MRI itself was not exactly fun either, nor was it what I was expecting. Basically, I had to lay on my stomach with my boobs hanging into holes and all of my upper body weight on a padded bar on my sternum and a padded hole for my face. Then they gave me some headphones and backed me into a tube, where I lay in that extremely comfortable position for over half an hour. They play music on the headphones, but I could barely hear it over the MRI machine. Good lord, that thing is loud! Halfway through the MRI, they gave me intravenous contrast, so at least I knew when it was halfway through, but that seemed like a very long 30-35 minutes.
My CT scan was scheduled for the same afternoon as the MRI, but not for 3 hours after the MRI was done. So I got to hang out in the Imaging Department for basically the entire afternoon with an IV in my arm. It was as much fun as it sounds. The good news is, though, that everything came back fine - nothing suspicious on the CT scan and only what we already knew about on the MRI. So yay, I officially have Stage 2 Breast Cancer, which is a hell of a lot better than stage 3 or 4!
Also, I finally got the HER2 pathology results, and they were "equivocal," not negative or positive. So that really clears things up. What that does mean is that my chemo treatment will be a little different than what I thought, but in a good way it seems. Instead of having 4 cycles of Adriamycin and Cytoxan and then 4 cycles of Taxol, I will have 6 cycles of Taxotere, Carboplatin, Herceptin, and Perjeta, and they will be 3 weeks apart instead of 2. So it's 18 weeks instead of 16, but fewer actual doses and more time in between, so I'll take it! I think that will make things easier for me to continue working, and that is causing me less stress right now.
The only bad about that is that I need to get the Herceptin every three weeks for a YEAR! But the Herceptin doesn't really have any really bad side effects like hair loss or feeling awful, so I guess it will be okay. And I guess I need to start forming a close relationship with my oncologist since even after all of this treatment, I'll need to meet with him once a year for forever. He seems pretty decent, though, so I guess that will be okay.
Overall, I'm feeling much more grateful and positive this week. This past weekend and the beginning of the week was tough, and I was just pissed about this whole situation, but I've slowly gotten over that. I honestly have a lot to be thankful for. Mostly I'm thankful that this isn't a death sentence. From the very beginning I've said that as long as I'm still alive to raise my daughter and watch her grow up, everything will be fine, and I'm feeling very optimistic about that.
I'm also thankful that I work with a great staff, who have been supportive and willingly taken on more duties and responsibilities to take the load off of me. And I'm excited for this weekend because my mother, sister, and younger nephews are visiting and we're going to the local indoor water park! Lastly, I want to say how grateful I am for all of the Facebook messages, emails, cards, and well wishes I've gotten. Thank you for caring!
And to be honest, I can't believe my sister has managed to raise over $1000 for my medical bills already! I had mixed feelings about her doing fundraising, because I feel like we're fine financially while there are other people who don't have money for housing or shelter. But, as she said, we don't have $6000 lying around for medical bills. This stupid high deductible health insurance is the worst. Honestly, I feel like there are so many more worthy causes out there than my stupid breast cancer, but I really am very grateful.
She asked me to plug this on here, so if you have a few extra bucks and want to see it go towards my medical bills, you can donate here: http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/help-dawn-fight-breast-cancer/296413. Or if you would like to buy some stuff from Origami Owl (lockets and jewelry and stuff), the proceeds of which will go toward my medical fund, you can go here http://whoareyoudesigns.origamiowl.com/parties/DawnsMedicalFund596573/collections.ashx. Seriously, though, don't feel obligated. I won't be offended if you donate your money to the sad Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercials instead...they probably need it more than me.
I think the bottom line behind all of this is that this whole process is going to be long and really suck at times, but it's not going to last forever and maybe (hopefully) life will be even better afterwards. I've always believed that everything happens for a reason, so I'm trying to keep that in mind.
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