This time I'll start with the good stuff first. My mother, sister, and nephews came to visit this weekend just to see me, which is the first time anyone has come to visit ME (not my much cuter daughter) since before Calla was born. We went to the Massanutten Water Park (which is indoors, obviously) on Saturday. We had lots of fun, especially Calla, who loves the water! It was so nice to be able to take my mind off the fact that I have cancer and just enjoy spending time with my family. And my mother and sister insisted on paying for everything over the weekend - the waterpark, lunch, dinner, breakfast. I feel so spoiled, so thank you to them for that and for visiting!
I also have to thank my husband for all of his love and support, which I haven't really done yet, because I'm a jerk. Aris has been so great, and it's so helpful knowing that I have his unconditional love and support. And apparently our fundraising is now over $6000! Wow! Thank you everyone. That is amazing!
Onto business...yesterday I had outpatient surgery to have the portacath inserted in my chest. I had a choice between general anesthesia and to stay awake, but obviously be very drowsy and not feel much. I chose not to have general anesthesia, so I vaguely remember the procedure. I remember saying "ouch" a lot. After the surgery, I found out that the doctor couldn't "find" a subclavical vein, so he had to run the catheter up to a vein in my neck. The surgeon told this to my husband after the surgery and apparently told me during the procedure, but I don't remember that. I wish I did, because I hope I asked what the hell he was talking about. What do you mean you can't "find" the vein? It's got to be there - look a little harder! Instead I have a nice hematoma on my neck, and I can kind of feel the catheter under my skin in my neck - ewww.
Also, last night I was feeling the back of neck and there was a whole bunch of dried blood back there by my hairline and in my hair. I said "wow" and Aris came over to look at it and said, "Wow, that's a lot of dried blood." Again, I was sort of awake during the procedure, and I don't remember anyone saying, "Uh oh, a whole bunch of blood is running behind her neck into her hair." That's what I would think someone would say, and I think I would remember that. But, regardless, the port is in. And other than some bruising and a somewhat ugly incision, it's fine.
I guess the big news for this post is that today I had my first chemo treatment. Of course it couldn't just go as planned, so first thing the oncologist told us some bad news. And FYI, this wasn't even my oncologist, who apparently went on vacation this week. Grrrr. So substitute oncologist informed us that my insurance, which you may remember previously denied a PET scan, also denied my treatment plan because it includes herceptin.
As you may or may not remember, my HER2 results were equivocol - not negative or positive. Because the results weren't positive, and apparently herceptin is expensive, my insurance company denied it. Since all they care about is making money and not me actually getting well and staying cancer-free long-term, they decided that it doesn't matter what my oncologist thinks if it's too expensive. So here's something I don't understand...someone actually went to medical school, became a doctor, and then went to work for an insurance company so they can use their education to approve or deny people's life-saving claims? Seriously? This is how you want to use that education? That's just sad to me. It's probably all of the doctors who finished last in their med school class making decisions about my medical treatment. Fucking douchebags. Seriously, if any of my family or friends who are doctors or are in the medical profession are reading this, can you help me out with this? Who are these asshat doctors working for insurance companies?
But I digress...so instead of what I thought I was getting, I'm back to getting 4 cycles of Adriamycin and Cytoxan and then 4 cycles of Taxol two weeks apart. So more chemo cycles, closer together, with worse side effects, and it may not be as effective. Thank you, Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield, you are the worst health insurance ever. Karma is a bitch, you jackasses.
With that said, you would think the rest of the treatment would go well to make up for the initial crap-fest, but no. My port didn't work. There was no "blood return," i.e. the nurse couldn't draw blood out of the port. So they couldn't use the port and had to put in an IV - my third IV and fifth stick in a week. Why did I even get the damn port if I have to have an IV?!? The nurse was hopeful that it just didn't work because it was only put in yesterday, and will be okay for my next chemo treatment. She'd better be right! Grrrr again.
Right now, we're about 7 hours post-chemo, and I feel okay but very tired. Also a little icky and "fuzzy" (I hope this post makes sense!), but not too bad. I have lots of meds for the nausea, but there's not much they can do for the tired and icky. We'll see how I feel tomorrow morning if I am up to going to work, which was my plan with the other chemo treatment plan. By tomorrow night/Friday morning I'm guessing I'll feel really crappy, but we'll see. Tomorrow afternoon I have to go get a Neulasta shot to help with my blood counts. In a week I have to go get my blood counts checked. My next treatment is in two weeks. Hopefully by then my port will be functioning properly, and I'll at least know what to expect afterward, good or bad.
No comments:
Post a Comment